The first time I remember being aware of the fact that I had weight to lose was in middle school. I didn’t have a lot to lose but I had enough that I was uncomfortable. I remember having a birthday party and all my girl friends were over. We started one of those games were you ask everyone random questions and weight was brought up. All the girls were between 100-120 pounds with the exception of me and one of my friends who came in at 135. We both refused to answer the question.
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That’s when the crash dieting began. I did the typical high school diet of starving myself which never worked because I liked food too much. It always just ended in tears and a binge leading to more weight. This went on all through middle school and then high school. Following high school my mom suggested Weight Watchers. She knew I was miserable, she also knew the things she did as a kid fighting the same battle. Knowing a women at work who had luck with it, my mom figured she would rather see me sticking to a plan and eating rather than doing the typical crap all girls do.
Weight Watchers worked amazing for me. I had lost 35 pounds in 5 months without a day at the gym. It was insane. I was in my early 20’s weighing less than I did in middle school. I started working for a modeling agency out of Boston called Click. Due to their demands I eventually got down to 124lbs at 5’8″… then they told me to lose more because I “still have an ass”. How’d I respond? “F#$K you. This is how I was built”. I knew I was too thin, from the waist up I looked anorexic. Right then I decided I was done with modeling. My boyfriend at the time was so glad I could see that I looked unhealthy. He was afraid I wouldn’t know when to stop with the weight loss. I knew there was no winning the “ass” battle, it came down to genetics. Besides… since when was having no curves a good thing?
I kept the weight I lost through Weight Watchers off for two years until my grandfather got sick. Along with some other life drama, I completely unraveled. Ben & Jerry became my two best friends.
Then there was 5 years on the road filming with GH/GHI eating 3 meals a day at restaurants, fast food places, gas stations and vending machines. I was a yo-yo for that entire run, gain, lose, gain, lose. The amazing part about being on TV? There were always comments from fans, “You look great!” when I was doing well to, “You have a huge ass” when I wasn’t doing so well. Let’s just say that didn’t help to stay on track. Unfortunately people forget you are human and they forget any/all manners they were raised with as soon as they jump on the internet.
While I was still on the road I decided I would try this new thing all my friends were talking about, Isagenix. Two protein shakes a day and one regular meal. I thought, “This has GOT to work while living on the road! I’ll only have to find one meal a day and it’ll be easy”. Not so much. Mixed into those 5 shake days are 2 days where you don’t eat ANYTHING. It’s called cleansing and they make it sound fantastic and easy. If you like food-it is hell. You will get hungry, you will get light headed, you will hate the world. lol
Not to mention, carrying containers of shake powder and a single serving blender all over the planet was far from easy. Think about going through customs too, not only do the containers look suspicious the TSA GO THROUGH IT. Common sense, I know why they have to take a sample of the powder to test it. I understood the need but I just found it gross since for me it was food. Occasionally I will still do a shake for breakfast if I am being lazy, however that’s as far as it goes.
My last attempt with a dieting system was suggested by one of my good friends. She had tried Nutri-System, lost weight with it and loved it. I figured, since I was no longer bouncing around the planet, why not give it a try. Besides the fact it is expensive, who the hell wants to eat nothing but frozen or dried out food? Then there are days you stray from the system. You end up with the stuff stock piled in your cabinets-especially if you get suckered into automatic shipment. The same was true for Isagenix… I could have opened my own store with all the extra product.
Now what am I doing? I am trying to figure out how to use real food to lose weight, be healthy, while not losing my mind. I am using protein shakes in between meals – not as a meal substitution – as a way to hold off hunger, nibbling and cravings. I’m hoping to hit my goal and learn something along the way that will actually help me keep the weight off and be healthy about doing it.
I know I am not the only one struggling!!! What works for you? What doesn’t? And what are your biggest struggles with weight loss/healthy living?
This content was originally published here.